Stand up, wave you hands in the air like you just don’t care. Comfortable ?
In a group of people how aware are you of the space you are taking up? Are you in someone’s space? Is someone in yours?
In general, when we walk, talk, eat and exercise we are acutely aware of how much space we are taking up.
Space is a sexist and cultural construct!
Don’t get me wrong I love space! I need lots of it! Constrict my space and I become the most unpleasant version of myself. There has been snarling within holiday crowds.
But space is a construct and generally Western, white women, or any of us who have assimilated into this group, are at the bottom of the pile!
Think of the way an African American woman owns her space: with Sass! She OWNS that piece of earth. An Indigenous South American woman has an open and inviting space around her into which her children and friends eddy in and out of freely and comfortably. Chinese women share space, it’s a luxury they don’t have.
They readily share their personal space and probably have never considered space as “personal”.
But, generally Westernised Women take up as little space as possible and protect it fiercely. We have been taught to take up minimal, only necessary space. It is deemed polite to be modest in one’s movements. No flaying of arms and waving of hands like the feisty Mediterraneans! It is a positive attribute to be delicate, small and demure.
Fuck ! Our bodies and voices were silenced and diminished.
Men are praised for their size. For the amount of space they dominate. For their baritone voices. It’s a thing !!
“What a big boy”
“That’s right, eat up, have more, such a good appetite!”
And we still feed our men, with words and food. We fertilise their ability to take up space. Our “Big” boys. So Neanderthal!
All the while we eat quietly, a lettuce leaf, off a side plate, and keep the chaotic vortex of words inside our mouths, and we swallow them to keep us full after the lettuce!
Let me hear a WTF!?
Strange how all those words left unspoken surge up on that wave of hunger, and when everyone is asleep, or not looking, we shove them back down with anything edible!
We keep our mouths shut and our legs crossed and take up a little space. We slouch, we hide, we tiptoe, all the while hungry, bored and a little bit angry. Hangry ! It’s also a “thing”!
And so we resent our space owning, belly rubbing men, and not just our bodies go pear shaped but our relationships too. ( who made “pear-shaped” a bad thing ?!)
Space is filled with beliefs and since we no longer believe in the Tooth fairy and don’t subscribe to Santa, we can just as well change our beliefs about our right to space.
We can change how we fill our space:
Change what we believe our rights are, or what is expected of us. ( you are the only adult you need permission from- just saying )
So I encourage you to stand up. Hell, stand out, stand around, stand all bloody about if you like ! You have as much right to tramp this earth as the birds, bees, elephants and trees !
Stomp it Sister.
Just think of your Black sisters. They have conquered much over the years, much, but the one thing they have always owned, is their beautiful, bountiful bodies. When our sisters talk, walk and dress, it is a celebration of women hood to behold.
So, own your piece of earth. That ground you walk on is scared.
Goddess you own the ground you walk on. Your path is sacred. Please treat the vessel of your soul accordingly.